How do I know what to write in a blog? I’m writing for myself. Pardon? What’s that you say? Couldn’t I write a diary? Actually no. I’m trying to put my finger on why not….all I can really come up with is that in writing a blog I’m not actually writing to myself. I’m not writing for anyone else, I’m not that conceited, honestly, but I think the threat of someone else reading it keeps me focused. I think a diary would just be a stream, or more like a vomit, of consciousness. But I think there would be some sort of feedback loop created when I started. I’d pour out any thought and they would become in-cohesive as my mind wandered (wondered?). Then I’d analyse them and become self critical then I’d analyse my analysis and so on like a snake eating its tail until I stopped. Blah.
Instead, by understanding that someone might read this, I write for a different audience other than myself. I seem not to eat my own tail. Thoughts only go down when there is a bit of cohesion. It’s still unequivocal drivel but for some reason it’s stable.
That got me thinking. What’s the difference between me and the audience I imagine? An imagined audience is still me right? I mean you obviously do imbue characteristics on your audience that oneself might not possess, a children’s author for example, but if I’m writing for a non-existent, non-specific audience, why am I not a subset of that group? And that, I think, is a fundamental element of my and perhaps others nature. I perceive myself as different.
I’m writing this sat on benches outside a baseball diamond. It screams this is North America. I’m surrounded by Arts and Crafts style wood slat housing with open gardens and yellow road signs. My mind tells me I’m still in the UK but my senses all tell me different.